JENNY SHIMIZU MERCH “STATEMENT of AUTHENTICITY”

If you part with $28 dollars of your hard earned cash, plus a little more for shipping, and receive one of my magic t-shirts then you will undoubtedly know the power. You will instantaneously become more popular with your neighbors and coworkers. You will have hummingbirds and small puppies following you around at all times. You will definitely get more attention from the gender specific sexual being you desire. You will become more fit and your hearing will sharpen. You will smell better and not need to shower as much. You will be minding your own business at a small cafe and Simon Cowell will approach you and ask to make you a “music star.” Then Ryan Seacrest will come up and counter offer to make you a “reality star!”  And, you will become psychic and know exactly who loves you the most. You will basically be GOLDEN when you wear my magic t-shirt.  You deserve the magic!

Love,
Jenny