JENNY SHIMIZU MERCH “STATEMENT of AUTHENTICITY”

If you part with $28 dollars of your hard earned cash, plus a little more for shipping, and receive one of my magic t-shirts then you will undoubtedly know the power. You will instantaneously become more popular with your neighbors and coworkers. You will have hummingbirds and small puppies following you around at all times. You will definitely get more attention from the gender specific sexual being you desire. You will become more fit and your hearing will sharpen. You will smell better and not need to shower as much. You will be minding your own business at a small cafe and Simon Cowell will approach you and ask to make you a “music star.” Then Ryan Seacrest will come up and counter offer to make you a “reality star!”  And, you will become psychic and know exactly who loves you the most. You will basically be GOLDEN when you wear my magic t-shirt.  You deserve the magic!

Love,
Jenny

Advertisements

Leave a comment

No comments yet.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s